Written June 14, 1996 and modified July 17, 1997

Procastination

Do not put off til tomorrow what can be put off until the day after.

That's my motto. I wish I weren't such a procastinator, but it's a huge part of who I am right now -- so I should learn to accept it and then learn to overcome it.

There are so many things I'd like to be working on: my novel, short stories, all these projects I start and don't finish. Washing my car. Cleaning my room.

If I don't have an appointment or reason to get up in the morning, I will sleep until noon. (Of course, I prefer to stay up until 4.) I do my taxes on April 14 (or 15, sometimes). I pay my bills on the last possible day. I buy birthday gifts on the day of the person's birthday, right before I go to their party. I Christmas shop in December. I miss deadlines because sometimes I come too close to the line.

I wish I were one of those people who just DOES all of the important things: the kind of person who has everything prepared ahead of time, begins work on their homework the day its assigned, goes shopping and gardens for leisure, is always writing thoughtful notes to friends and relatives.

My problem is that I'm easily distracted by what I want to do, and it takes priority over what I should do or need to do.

Tuesday night for example: instead of working on any of a million things, I instead work on this for four hours:

(I created it for a left-handed page I was working on.) Fun, yes; new learning, pride of accomplishment, etc. But not the most effective use of those four hours.

Am I just lazy? Is it intrinsic to my personality? Is it in my upbringing? Do I suffer from Tayscachs-Epstein-Barr-Denial Syndrome? (If so, at least I'm not alone. Most Americans do their taxes at the last moment.)

I finish most everything that I say that I'm going to. With three glaring exceptions:

Obfic.
Obfic is Obligatory Fiction, a writer's group and magazine. I started working on ObFic years ago. Had meetings, made plans and tables of contents. All of these people's stories, which I have held on to for over a year now; I keep saying I'm going to publish it, but I simply haven't worked on it, I'm way behind in reading new stories... I feel really guilty. Don't know why I'm avoiding it. But I am. It got derailed when my mom had her aneurysm/seizure and has not gotten back on track since.
Wednesday FAQ.
Wednesday is Beverley R. White. (Her face, heavily altered, is the background of this page. The original photos were taken by Olorin.) I volunteered in September '95 to write a FAQ about her, since there are many questions about her that need answering. I started on it, I even did an interview but since then I haven't done a thing about it.
Gray Mansion.
This project of mine is languishing badly. Good concept, fine start -- but I haven't really worked on it in over a year. You can see the '94 web technology rusting before your eyes. The blank areas hit you like bricks, spoil the whole mood. It needs love.

Maybe soon. September first, I move into my parent's house to help take care of my mom as she recovers from her stroke. During that year, maybe I will have more free time and less stress and less work, and these projects will be done? I really hope so.

Update, July 97: Well, I've worked on three Web sites and three computer books since I started living here at my parents' in Saratoga. With the demands of the house and the project deadlines, I've had less free time than before. Maybe next year.

It's true, isn't it, that acknowledgement of a problem is the first step?

(By the way, this posi-web was a month later than I planned. y next one is now almost a year overdue. I've been promising it for weeks now.)

THE POSI-WEB

Zeigen's Past Posi-Webs

Zeigen -- estephen@emf.net
Zeigen's Dilemma